I admire its gall, its rancor, its giant ears. The noise it makes as it screeches across the galactic ink blot is appealing and sacrosanct to SFX artists everywhere. I concede the Tie Fighter is an attractive death machine. This is a concession to the Star Warsers. Enemy boarding parties in both corridors? Uh… Tie Fighter - Star Wars: Tie Fighter Hull breach in the airlock? Zip through hatchway maintenance. Fire in security? No worries, scramble through the airlock corridor instead. If anything, the twisting, asymmetrical layout of this hurtling metal cereal box actually works in its favour. This cuboid collection of small rooms and higgledy-piggledy containers appears to the earthbound layperson as a messy junkyard in the sky. Torus - FTL: Faster Than Lightĭon’t put me in a box, unless it is the Torus Engi cruiser from FTL. The Cobra is all spaceships to all spacepeople. Versatile, inexpensive, angry as a box of bullet ants. Or you can stock up on piratical thief drones and head out with an electronic space lasso, ready to catch interstellar truckers for mid-flight shakedowns.
You can strap a giant cargo compartment to the backside, yank off the shield generator, paint it bright yellow, and stand back in awe at your beautiful glass lorry. Here, you fripperist, you child, gaze upon the true list of the 9 best spaceships in games. Only an exponent of the foulest incorrectitudes would indulge a shipyard with all the basic-ass nomenclature of an episode of Sesame Street. Who do you think you are? Sitting there in the pilot’s seat of that garish tin can. A disdainful scoff as you vroomify your engines in the docking bay, click-clacking your flight checks in the seat of some dusty Y-wing, some classless X-Wing, some bogus B-wing. I have nothing to offer but the sneer of a veteran Elite Dangerous pilot.
Happy Star Wars: Squadrons day, internet. Is there something you think doesn’t deserve to be on this list? Comment with your reasons why, and next month it may be struck off. One Off The List is our monthly list feature.
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